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In the annals of small-town drama, few stories slap harder than a good ol’-fashioned runaway romance—especially one that ends with irate farm dads boarding a late-night train to Port Huron.
Detroit, Michigan • Fri, Aug 7, 1903
Back in the day (and we’re talking early 1900s here), two young couples from Northville decided it was time to throw caution, curfews, and possibly common sense to the wind. Emma Lorenz, Charley Hamilton, Martha Lorenz, and Albert Sessions slipped away under cover of Friday night—likely fueled by youthful rebellion, mild infatuation, and $20 in pooled resources.
Their destination? Kinde, Michigan. Why Kinde? Maybe they misheard someone say “kind of romantic.” Either way, their great escape lasted until one very alert hotelkeeper, Peter Bushey, spotted the lovestruck quartet and hit the telegraph wire faster than a prairie gossip after Sunday service.
Meanwhile, back on the farm, the dads—C.L. Lorenz and F.C. Hamilton—were not amused.
“Wal by jingo,” one of them allegedly exclaimed, unleashing what might be the most Midwest-dad quote in recorded history. “They haint got no money. Them are bad boys and we intend ter bring them back to the farm and make them work.”
And thus, two very determined fathers hopped the late train to Port Huron with fire in their eyes and a plan to strong-arm romance back into rural compliance. Their parenting strategy? Locate the kids, shut down the honeymoon phase, and reinstate mandatory barn chores.
It’s unclear whether the young lovers ever made it past Kinde’s city limits, or if they ever forgave Peter Bushey for being the most responsible hotelier in Huron County. But one thing is certain: next time you think about sneaking off into the Michigan countryside with your sweetheart, don’t underestimate the power of small-town eyes, the telegram, or a dad with a farm to run.
Bonus Moral of the Story: If you’re going to elope, maybe bring more than $20. Also, don’t check into a hotel run by someone who knows your dad.
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